HORSEthejournal

ughhhh.

alot has changed over the past year or so.
ive met alot of sweet kidzz.

but i miss alot.
/:

growing up is strestfull on the heart.



* if u see this and we havent really talked in a while.
or if u just like showing love
(:

; amen2emo/sn
amen2emo@yahoo.com
http://www.myspace.com/3933094




(i heart american football)

o snaaaaap. i havent updated in forever. well if anyone has any sweet haste the day / any show pics let me know. ide enjoy viewing them.

You scored as Indie. Indie. </td> Indie 75% Industrial 67% Punk and Pop Punk. 50% Indie Rock 46% Classic Rock. 46% Emo & More 42% Mainstream 33% Hip Hop and Rap 17% Britpop 13% Hardcore 8% Country 8% Ska 0% Music Recommendation created with QuizFarm.com

wowwww i havent updated in a while. weeeeel this weekend i went to chicago with austin and austin.. it was really fun. but it really made me depressed about growing up in peoria. i hate the mediocraty of this place and the security of living here. i long for origanality and culture. ughhhh welllll on friday we stayed at meghans and just hung out, and rode the disco bus. then on saturday topher came but i only got to see him for like a half hour.. ughhh then we went with allesandra to her house. wich was freaking sweettttt. and we rode the L into down town. and just walked around and enjoyed the culture and not being in peoria. we also randomly saw matt paul so we hung out with him and he showed us around the city. then we took the L back to bellemont and went to some sweet shops. i love that place evreyone should go there. then we ended up staying the night again at allesandras, and i woke up in the middle of the night too drunks outside fighting over who was gonna get to use the cardboard out of the trash. it was fun stuff. i enjoyed it immensly. and hope that i will be going back soon.

hey all. thanx for you comments of encouragement (: 2005 is gonna be fun stuff!! woot woot (: well im pretty pissed right now . ugh ugh ugh.. i half to take this dumb class so i dont get my license taking away. and now im missing the chariot!!!! ugh ugh ugh uhg. ): ): *sad face. hmmm well on a lighter note, i got to talk to jen last night!! it was fun stuff. i miss her ): and summer ): she depressed me . welp now i have to go to 4 1/2 hours of hell.... have fun at the show ): /:

happy new year! i was just lookin at old entries and it brings back so many memories of good times . and i just wanted to say how good this summer was expecially, i met alot of cool new people and had alot of good times and even though ill probly see most of you again ill never be able to have back those times we spent and the way we all felt. this summer was one of the last summers where me and toph and all our friends really got to be together and just not have any worries, like no real jobs, and the cottage ): . just sitting around with nothing to do, wich im learning is something to be cherished. and it also really makes me think of how much i miss some people and how far away 2 summers ago and 8th grade , expecially, was and how much people have changed and how much i have changed and the things and people i cared about. its really sad that ill never really be able to have alot of those relationships back like with tim and daniel and carice and kyle and amanda and carly and kt and tony among others, who i used to share such good bonds and memories with , that we just took for granit, and we used to talk about how fun the years to come were gonna be and how much we were gonna hang out and now i never even see them. its hard for me to understand how you can have such a strong relationship with someone and then for it to just vanish like it was never even there. how you can go from best friends to aquantences. i still hold alot of the feelings /: do you? also ive really learned how little people really charish relationships. friends ive had since 5th grade dont even act like i exsist anymore, just because i dont hang out with the right people or right croud. i dont understand how people can do that. i cant. ive realized that people will honestly think your cooler and more appealing because of the people you hang out with and how cool other people think you are, i know it sounds punk rock but f**** popularity. (pardon my language) /: hmm well theres so much more i could write. and ive decided, even though ive said this before, that im gonna start trying to write evreyday in here. not for the moment, or me, or anyone else. but for times like these wen i can look back on so many good memories and times ive had with people that i can never get back and will never be same. welp. even though this has been a rather depressing entry. i really feel that ive had a good, eventfull life so far, alot better than most, and ive met alot of cool people along the way, and hopefully theres only more good memories, and cool people to come.

goodbye '04

.another good year.

R.I.P. rocco

a my space with the new year. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/7866191

hmmmm i never update anymore /: i never know wat to write a bout.. but yeah christmas was good . hung out with the family, had a good drunkin italian time (: it was my dads 50th as well. i didnt get him anything /: i probly should have . but i dont have money. well tonight im hanging out with ust and bo and ian. havent hung out wtih them in a while. i got an mp3 player for christmas but it wasnt for the mac so im selling it on ebay i suppose. 300$ maybe /: 250$ ... if your interested contact me.

http://www.iriveramerica.com/products/H320.aspx

http://addictinggames.com/mindreader.html


trippy.

i havent updated in a while... ugh. ive just been to busy doing nothing i guess. well today awas stressfull = final/ funeral. except it turned out to be preatty good. me and jesse went to the rivermans game with b randon, wich was good stuff. and also i found out the chariot is coming to town. wich definately enhances the future!! im excited.

1.04.05
ep legion
the chariot/ goodbye anabaelle lee


woot woot.

hey. this weekend i was supposed to go to michigan.. but we couldnt make it cause of weather. sorry all, ): . i didnt really end up doing much here either. we had band practice yesterday. and tonight i went to matts , but i had to leave early because my moms got really sick and had to go the ER ugh. sometimes i feel really selfish, like wen i found out i had to leave matts i was almost more sad that i was leaving matts than that she was sick, i mean i didnt want to feel this way but i did, idk y i am like this. well mom sais thanx for the card to all who contributed. im gonna go attemp to learn feed the cats or watever the song name is now . wooo air fair (:

hey yall . i havent updated in a while cause my comp crashed... ugh. but yeah tonight was fun stuff. dead to fall, and burning love letters= good stuff. seriously are scene is so freakin good. it intimidates me lol. freakin that metal matt guy is one of the best guitarists ive ever seen, excpecially for being in a local band. its ridiculous, people like him are the people who should be making millions, not freakin cleashay businessmen, ugh. well tommarow im going to michigan for a few days . so if you like live there call me, 657-9951, and we will party fo sho. (: im tired.

i never no wat to update about anymore . hmmmmmmm /: open to suggestions. well today was fun. it was leaf raking day instead of school. and we had fight club. to be continued friday. im excited, lol. also me woody and sidler left school and went to mcdonalds and salvation army, i felt so rebelious. then i went to church and then after like 20 of us went to buffalo wild wings, good stuff. except they didnt have any legs so i had to have wings ): well tommarow i get to leave school early and go to morton, where hopefully we are actually gonna get a full band practice in, pcs doesnt beleive in veterens i guess .

bush.


Thursday, November 4th
At: East Peoria Legion Hall
630 pm | 10$ gets you in and a copy of the CD

Armada in Flames presents:

"Six Skeletons" split with Burning Love Letters and Scouts Honor CD release show

Fire When Ready | (Four Leaf Recordings)
The Forecast
Burning Love Letters
Scouts Honor
long since forgotten | (rock with pop hooks on Rocketstar Records)
Paria | (metalcore from Omaha, NE on Black Market Activities)

Paria will start playing at 630. This show WILL start on time.


rock it ladies.

it was a murder disguised as sexual desire.

dancing to this excuse for a song.

its hard to defend a city with no walls.

people say bad things happen on the day of an eclipse... well today my mom forgot to wake me up for the amish fieldtrip, which i was uber excited to go on, so i was stuck going to school and waking up at 7am for no reason. then wen i was driveing home tonight i got a 75$ ticket and almost hit a deer.



i love eclipses....


thanks for all the comments on the last entrie. its nice to be able to look at things from different peoples perspectives.

" "but in the end all we have are ourselves" This is true for those who don't have Jesus."

someone made that comment on my last entry, and that is wat i always come to wen i think through this.
but it also makes you think about karl marx quote,"religion is the opium of the people".
which makes you wonder if there is really any true meaning in life, or beyond it, and if religion is just something people use to give there lives some kindove of false meaning. this isnt necessarily wat i believe, its just how i feel alot of the time. i guess im more trying to figure out and analyze my beliefs for myself rather than just automatically beleive wat my parents believe and wat ive grown up with.

so many loved ones
so many memories
but in the end all we have are ourselves
we all end up alone

so y do we care so much about others
and how they hurt us
and wat they think

where drowning in our insecurities
and only we can save ourselves

does anyone really care
we are all living in this false confidence
that we have it all figured out
but really we are just creating a false sense of securitie for our so called love ones that our just trying to fill a void with something that has know real substance or meaning

they say only the strong survive
but really there just putting a false cover over there emotions and who they really are
until so many others beleive it
that they themseves beleive it
and then subcontiously they end up liveing a whole life of false confidence and false meaning and really a false sense of who they really are
cause theyve forgotin in this world of false teaching on wat you need to be/have to have meaning and wat matters in the eyes of those who we seek securitie in

you may say that those who only care about there social life and dont care about the so called important things like school and church are waisting there life and will be nothing wen they are older.
but maybe they are the ones who are getting the most out of life.
because it doesnt really matter wat job you had or how much money you made or wat you drove,
all that really matters in the end are the relationship you had, the lives you touched, and the memories you made for you and others who you may not even remember, but at one point in your life you held such strong emotions for.
how can we just leave those that we love
or is it really love
wat is love
y are the greatest emotions held for those who dont love us
we take for granit the time we have on this earth
wen we die evreything weve worked so hard at and evreything we know wont matter
itll be like being reborn
cause thats all it really is
starting over
we all die alone

oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
cuz you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught

hey yall. underoath was tonight. it was good stuff, though fairly dissapointing. first off i expected these arms are snakes to be alot better live, but since by man made up for them. they freakin rocked my socks. and then underoath... i really like there new stuff and i enjoyed the show, but at the same time i felt sick to my stomach with how much they've changed, though it was really fun kicking push moshers (: . but altogether it was a really fun show , and evreyone was there, except someone i was really excited to hang out with): i was saddened. this weekend im going to minnesota to visit the dizzad, itll be fun times i suppose. and mall of america as well. Then monday is freakin gonna be sweet bleeding through, martyr ad, walls of jericho. im pumped. cya there.

hey yall. i havent really written about evreyday life in a while, but i decided to start doing that again. cause even though i know alot of people dont really care wat went on in my weekend or watever, this is something im going to be able to look back at in years to come and have memories of times that would be just an afterthought if not.so screw all the critics out there, have a journal and write watever the hell you want down and it doesnt even matter if anyone looks at it or not. do it for yourself. yeah.... journals are definately punk rock!!! /: (:

k well anyways. last weekend was fun. friday i went to the morton football game with jessie and then after that we went to the air fair/ amore afterparty show. it was good though i didnt get to see air fair play cause my mom made me leave early ): but amore brought the mosh. on saturday i went to tonys g's party with jessie and andy. it was fun stuff got to talk to some people i havent seen in a while, good times. then yesterday i watched supersize me, then went frisbee golfing with austin. frisbee golfing is freekin boss i learned. i recommend it to all. then today i went frisbee golfing again down at bradley, then i jammed with chaz and zack. we have like 4 songs compleately done, but we still have know singer. ): so if your good at singing and not a fag im me or sumtin. chow